Three things that I have learned from Running

I never ran in high school or college. Never. Like people were very shocked when I told them I started running. I even have this funny story about me involving the cops and me not running. Me telling them clearly, that I may walk away, but I won’t be running so there is no need for you to stand guard outside my car door. I started running back in 2003. I don’t remember the day exactly, but I know how it went down. I got an emailed regarding the Annual Corporate 5k challenge, and like so many other times in my life. I got excited, and made a snap decision to do it. (This happens quite often to me) Once I make a snap decision, I am committed for better or worse. I have been running off and on since then, (currently, I am on) and it is definitely a love/hate relationship. But it is a relationship that has taught some things over the years. I know everyone has a blog about what running teaches them, but I swear mine are a little different. 1. Effort counts. I am a slow runner. Like I have stopped and walked, and I can make better time walking, type of slow. When I schedule a long run into my weekend, I allow 15 per mile. Now, I am a little faster than that, but shit happens. I used to feel self conscious about how slow I am, but then this thought hit me. “At least, I am out here.” Yes, I am slow. Yes, Justin can run faster than me without a bit of training. But who ran 7 miles yesterday? I did. So what, if it took me forever to do it. I did it. And that effort counts. Real Life Example: I made my mom a birthday cake on Friday. I wanted it to be an old fashioned, southern, from scratch, 7 tiny layer cake. And it went okay, until something went wrong with the boiled frosting and all of it slid off the cake. It was a pitiful looking cake, but my mom loved it. God bless her, she even took some home. She knew the effort that went into that cake, and she was happy. See, effort counts. 2. There are different levels of suckiness. Now, we have already talked about how I am slow runner, but you know what I am getting faster. I am doing the weekly speed workouts. I am putting long runs in, and I think I am getting a little faster. And let me tell you, I feel good about that. I really do. Real life Lesson: Even if you are bad at something, do it anyway. If you are terrible cook, cook anyway. You can’t let what you suck at hold you back. You may never be good at it, but you can suck less. And trust me, that feels pretty damn good. 3. First mile always lies. I hear new runners say, “I started to run, but my legs hurt so I stopped” “I couldn’t breathe, so I stopped” That is the mistake, stopping. My 1st mile always suck, it is like my legs are like, “nope, we aren’t doing this”. And then most of the time, they shut up. Real life lesson: Don’t give up at the beginning; there is a good chance that this is the hardest part. There are more, but these are the ones that I remind myself of while I am hitting the pavement. In case any of you out there are wondering, I have ran 155 miles since January 1st. I am 30 miles ahead of my goal to run 500 miles in 2014.

Happy New Year!

It is the end of January, and I never posted a blog about my New Year’s Resolutions.  I was listening to a podcast said that many resolutions are broken by the end of January.  So this is an update on where my resolutions are to date.

No Drink January - I am about 14 and half hours from February 1^st.  Not that I am counting by any means.   But I stopped drinking at midnight on NYE, and have been sober since.   It has been an interesting month.  I have learned a few things.  I can go a month without alcohol.  Not having a hangover on Sunday feels awesome.  It is insanely cheaper not to drink. And it is much easier to lose weight when you are not drinking.

Knit New Things - Well, I am knitting socks, and I haven’t made socks in a really long time.  So I am considering this new knitting.  I also have a baby blanket started that I will need to finish.  So far so good on this one.

Stop biting my nails – I realized that I do this when I am bored or at a loss as to what to do with my hands.  I have been in this situation many times this month due to the not drinking.  But my nails are ugly, and I want to get them painted.  So my goal is to work on this is in February.  I don’t think I have broken this resolution, because I haven’t officially started it yet.

Eat more less processed foods - I am making some real progress towards this, and as with spring, summer, and fresh vegetables coming up I expect more of this to continue.

Crochet Hats for the Homeless- Haven’t started this yet, but I haven’t abandon it or forgot about it. Those hats are fast, and I have plenty of time.

Now, for the biggest resolution that I have made.

Run 500 miles in 2014 – I have 54 miles to date.  I am over 10% of the way there.  Of course, training for the half marathon has helped A LOT.  And it will provide a little cushion for me for the rest of the year.  I am excited.

I am not doing so badly, but it looks like I got my work cut out for me in February.

Happy New Year!

Fall - A New Beginning

I apologize in advance; this is probably going to get a little cooky before I am done. I just got back from a run, like literally sitting in the kitchen with my sports bra on writing this. I have decided that if I intend to write more. I should write when I have something to say. Man, I am so smart. Anyways, I love running in the fall. The colors and trees are so beautiful. This afternoon was no different, and I was looking around appreciating the beauty and hating that it would “end” soon. The leaves will soon fall, winter will come and it will be over until spring. Then a queer thought came into my head, what if fall is actually the beginning. The more that I thought of this, the more it made sense to me. If you have ever planted a seed, you know that although you may not see anything above the surface yet, major things are happening beneath the soil. If the prep work is never done underneath the soil, then there would never be anything above. So how can spring be the beginning? Wouldn’t there have to be a season of preparation? Maybe fall is the first part of the preparation. The trees are actively choosing to shed themselves in order to prepare for the new things to come.Shedding the leaves seems to be a process. It seems like trees fight the urge to change their leaves. I always find that trees stay green for quite awhile, after the official season of fall starts. Then you see one spot of color on an entire green tree. As if the tree held out for as long as it could, and once they have accepted the color, then the shedding starts. Maybe that is why you see some trees hold their leaves until the last possible second it seems. Maybe they were the ones just weren’t quite ready to let go of the old in preparation of the new. This also makes me wonder why we celebrate the new year in the dead of winter. Isn’t the whole point of New Years is to set goals and ambitions for the upcoming year. It seems so unnatural to do it then. Why not practice the act of shedding our old selves during the seasonof fall along with the trees? It works so well for them. They shed themselves, they enter a season of anticipation and preparation. And then all of sudden, BOOM, spring. Amazing. I have some things I need to shed. Some bitterness, some self doubt, some Wish I’s and some Shoulda’s. Hell, while I am shedding things, I may as well shed this bit of fear. I am going to enter a season of preparation and anticipation. I have some amazing things in my life, and I can only imagine what is in store for me come spring.

I am a writer.

I am writer. I know that the few of you who read this are thinking, “ummm...yeah” But I don’t think I realized this, or I have definitely forgotten about it. Now that I sit and think about it, I have written quite a bit over the years. I wrote all my speeches throughout my many years in 4-H. I was the kid in high school that was acting like they were complaining, but was secretly a little excited about doing the research paper I remember being super clever on my introduction about my subject, Latin dancing. It went something like... “You see a couple in a dimly lit room. Two sweaty bodies convulsing to one dominate beat. You can’t look away, and are force to pry into this passionate moment. What are they doing? The salsa, of course.” Pretty clever, right? High school seniors loved it. I actually studied poetry while I was in high school on the side. My dad and I would go to Dothan once a month, so I could sit and converse with people much older than me. I would read my poetry for them, and listen to theirs. Before insurance, I was actually a journalism major in college. I also have started a blog. A blog that has derailed from its primary purpose, but a place where I write occasionally. So yes, I guess I am a writer. So I don’t know why it surprised me so much when Justin called me one on Thursday night. I don’t even remember the conversation; I just know that we were on our way home from the concert. He said, “Blah blah blah, you are a good writer.” And I was like, “say what?” Now if you know my husband, then you know Justin is also a writer. His short stories are amazing. His creative story lines and incredible description of detail is what I like most about his writing. Although, he doesn’t write as much as he should, he is a writer. And a very good one. So when Justin said that I was a good writer, it took me by surprise. First of all, he has never said that in the almost ten years we have been together. Second, I guess I thought since I don’t think I could ever write a book or a really good short story, that my writing was subpar. But Justin labeled my writing as a style, a style that he has tried before and can’t seem to get just right. We talked about how our styles are way different, the biggest difference being the audience. Justin has always written for others. His writings are meant for others to see and to appreciate. My writing is for me. I don’t give two s***s if I am the only one who reads this blog. This is me and my feelings, and I read them. I write for myself, and if others enjoy, that’s even better. So if I am a writer, and if I write about my feelings, and if I have a lot of feelings, I should be writing more. So why aren’t I? Good question, really good question.

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I dont know how to do paragraphs any more. Someone help me...

Slow Down

I have been thinking about this post for awhile. I have been waiting to post it, because I am still a very guilty party of my own complaints. So read my post as a start to my own personal growth. I have made mention of this is past posts, on how “busy” we are and how attached we are to our technology. Yes, I am guilty of these things. I didn’t realize this at first, and I thought other people were missing out on the world around them. It hit me like a ton of bricks, when I realized that I, too, was missing out on the world around me. It started to hit me this summer, when I spent a couple weekends in the country. I loved it up there. I loved the slow pace. I loved spending quality time with the people I love. We spent actual time together. We had actual conversations. We laughed real laughs. We actually bonded. We made some real memories. And I treasured this time so much. It hit me even harder, when people would ask me what I had been up to. I would say, ”I have been busy”. But I found myself absent of a follow-up sentence. I couldn’t really describe what I had been busy with, I just knew that time had passed and I had been running around doing stuff. But I had too few real things, memories, or conversations, to show for it. And that is what hit me like a ton of bricks. We always look forward to Friday. We always look forward to our vacations. We always look forward to the holidays. But what about today? When today is over and done, what do I have to show for it? I sludged (totally made up this word, but I like it) through work, went home, cooked dinner, spent a few hours catching up on my DVR, and went to bed. Is that what I want Thursday, October 17, 2013 to be about? Is that how tomorrow is going to go? That sounds so sad. It is sad, and it is not who I want to be. My new goal is to be mindful, curious, and present. I don’t want to go through today on auto pilot. I want to LIVE today. I want to make connections with people. I want to feel good about what I did at work. I want to turn off the tv and go for a walk. I want to play cards and goof off instead of catching up on the latest Vampire Diaries. I want to knit something that I have never knit before with yarn that I absolutely love, instead of just cranking out the same old thing time after time with cheap yarn. I am going to do things that I have always wanted to do, but simply just have not done them. I am going to be more present with my family. I was recently down in Alabama for my grandmother’s funeral. Instead of just sitting around waiting to leave, like I normally would have done, I actually asked some questions. I listened to the others talk about my paw paw and maw maw, and it was like I was getting to know people whom I had never met. It is hard to imagine your grandmother as a young wife who started a family at the end of the Great Depression. While I was sitting at my grandmother’s house, I learned that my aunt is a crafter. I wish I had learned the importance of being mindful, curious, and present awhile ago. It is with much regret that the one of my favorite trips to my grandmother’s house was for her funeral. To think about all the stories and wisdom I missed out on, it gives me inspiration to ask more questions and to be more present with the family members that I am blessed to still have with me. I am going to be more present with my friends. They are really awesome; they are responsible for so much joy in my life. I am going to put my phone on silent when I am with them. I am going to invest my time, with people who invest theirs in me. Get ready friends, I am going to become more invested in your life, in your happiness, and in your achievements. I hope to enrich your life as much as you have enriched mine. I am going to be more present with Justin. I chose to be with him. I chose to marry him, and vowed to LIVE the rest of my life with him. And I am going to live that life. Because one day we will be too deaf to go to a rock concert. One day we will be too tired to stay up all night and play video games with each other. One day we will be too mature to sit at the kitchen table and play with Legos. One day we will be too old to go for a walk on a fall evening. And as morbid as it is, one day one of us won’t be here. I don’t want to miss any of these opportunities. Not a single one. I want to look back and see a full and vibrant life with real experiences, real people, and real memories. I am not going to be on auto pilot. I am going to live the life that was given to me, and I plan to do it well. So there you have it, my heart, my plans, and my hopes.

Is Summer Over?

I know it has been awhile since I posted, but I have had a busy summer. Wait a minute, I don’t have to explain myself to you people. According to Google, the first day of Autumn is September 22nd. That is still a good bit away. I have a lot going on between today and the first day of fall. But for some reason, I feel like summer is coming to a close. Here is why I think summer is coming to a close. -Holly went back home, and starts school soon. I associate Holly’s visit with summer. -Football season is only 3 weeks away. Football is fall. -Our schedules finally seem to be slowing down. Next weekend, we are not leaving Atlanta and no one is coming here for the weekend. Although, we do pick back up for the next couple weekends, but one free weekend has been foreign to the Broderways this summer. -School has started. Although, I have not started school in years, and I have no children. You can’t miss the increase in traffic and the school buses. -I saw jack o’ lanterns at Kroger. Really? Although, I hate it with a passion, I would fully expect to see Christmas stuff in the stores next month. -My plants are turning a little brown, and it is time to think about what next to plant. -My mind is wondering back to knitting and crocheting. I usually get a little distant from my yarn during the summer, but I feel myself slowly coming back to it. -Also, I have decided it was time to write a blog. That should tell you something for sure. So what should we call this gap, between real summer and real fall. Is Indian Summer the right term? I am not sure. That refers to heat waves, and it seems like all we have been getting is rain. I have no idea what to call this gap. And although fall is my favorite season, I am really going to miss summer. I went to some awesome concerts this summer. My best friend got engaged this summer. I had some pretty awesome parties. I had some great backyard bbq food. I had great fun picking berries and making jam this summer. I feel like the music for this summer was amazing. Awesome time at Six Flags, the list goes on and on. I am really going to miss summer.